I had fun ggs and wp winning team, i enjoy a relatively basic setup although have a soft spot for more power roles in the mix to increase the number of things that need to be considered.
See you in the Gaza Strip
I mean, it woulda probably been a totally different game if the cop wasn't lynched on D1. I still think lucky played wrong by not hard claiming with a doc in the game. It would have made it a much more interesting game.
This game had no mafia.
agree, i also think he shouldn't have died at all, just because he had what 4 votes at eod? towns blood is on the host's hands.
I know what you mean.
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I asked chatgpt to let me know if NPD individuals experience a different 5 stages of grief pattern cause I didn't know, and it was an interesting question. Googling it got me too many results about the grief those leaving narcissistic relationships experience. It's been researching it for like 15 mins, if it cooks this long to tell me they don't even experience grief i'm going to be bummed.
OMG it wrote a fucking essay I cant read this rn, but i'll post it then read it later.
"the grief those leaving narcissistic relationships experience" lol
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Got it — I’ll look into how narcissistic individuals experience grief compared to the traditional five stages (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance), including whether they experience grief differently or possibly suppress or avoid it altogether. I’ll pull from psychological research and expert insights and get back to you shortly.
Grief and Narcissism: How Narcissistic Individuals Experience Loss Differently
Introduction: The traditional five stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance – describe a common emotional trajectory many people undergo after a significant loss. Narcissistic individuals, however, often experience and express grief in atypical ways due to their unique personality traits and defense mechanisms. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is characterized by traits like an inflated self-image, need for admiration, lack of empathy, and difficulty handling vulnerability. These traits can profoundly shape how a narcissistic person copes with bereavement or any major loss. Below, we explore how narcissists may experience or skip certain grief stages, suppress grief altogether, or express it in unconventional ways. We also highlight differences in emotional processing, coping strategies, and interpersonal dynamics during grief, along with explanations rooted in narcissistic traits.
Narcissistic Traits That Influence Grief Processing
Before examining specific grief stages, it's important to understand which narcissistic traits affect the grieving process:
- Defense Mechanisms and Denial: Narcissists often use denial, projection, and distortion to protect their fragile self-esteem. Admitting painful loss or personal weakness threatens their self-image, so they may “lie to themselves and everyone else about what happened” rather than face reality (When Narcissists Fail, Anger Follows | Psychology Today). This heavy reliance on denial and self-deception can short-circuit the normal processing of grief.
- Emotional Regulation Difficulties: Many narcissistic individuals have poor tolerance for negative emotions like shame, sadness, or fear. Clinical experts suggest they are “hyper-sensitive to information that could cause them psychological distress” yet often “oblivious to such information at the level of conscious awareness” (Do Narcissists Lack Empathy: Research Attempts To Find Out). In other words, they feel emotional pain strongly but quickly push it out of conscious awareness. This leads them to suppress feelings of grief that might make them feel vulnerable.
- Lack of Empathy: A hallmark of narcissism is impaired empathy. Narcissists are so focused on their own needs and image that their ability to care for another person is severely compromised (The Double Grief of Having Had a Narcissistic Parent | Psychology Today). They often view close others as extensions of themselves rather than as independent individuals (The Double Grief of Having Had a Narcissistic Parent | Psychology Today). Because they struggle to genuinely understand or share others’ feelings, they may not experience grief in the empathetic way others do (for example, feeling sad for the person who died or for others’ loss). Any sadness is more likely centered on how the loss affects them personally (loss of support, attention, or status), rather than empathic sorrow.
- Need for Control and Attention: Narcissistic people crave being the center of attention and in control. A loss event (such as a death in the family) that redirects attention away from them is experienced as a threat. They may react by refocusing events on themselves or causing drama. For instance, one account describes a narcissistic husband who feigned illness and demanded attention on the day of his wife’s mother’s funeral, distracting her from mourning (How Narcissists Keep You from Grieving). Narcissists perceive events where they are not the focus – even funerals of others – as “threats” to their need for narcissistic “feeding,” and will “throw temper tantrums” or create scenes to draw attention back to themselves (How Narcissists Keep You from Grieving). This need for dominance in every situation can derail the normal social rituals of grieving and discourage open emotional expression.
Understanding these traits provides context for how the five stages of grief may manifest differently in narcissistic individuals. Rather than moving through grief with genuine vulnerability, narcissists often deploy defenses to avoid or shorten the uncomfortable stages.
How Narcissistic Individuals Differ from the Five Stages of Grief
Narcissistic people may experience some of the classic stages of grief, but often in a distorted or abbreviated form. They might skip certain stages, dwell in others, or exhibit them in unusual ways. Below is a breakdown of each stage and how a narcissist’s response can differ from the norm:
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Denial / Avoidance: In typical grief, denial is a temporary shock response that buffers the immediate pain of loss. For narcissists, denial can be more extreme and enduring. Because acknowledging a loss (especially one that makes them feel helpless or imperfect) is intolerable to their ego, they may refuse to accept the reality or significance of the loss. Narcissists often construct an alternate narrative that preserves their self-image. For example, rather than admitting a personal failure or loss, a narcissist will insist “I didn’t really fail – I was cheated” (When Narcissists Fail, Anger Follows | Psychology Today). They reinterpret the loss “differently” so it’s easier to stomach (When Narcissists Fail, Anger Follows | Psychology Today). This intense denial goes beyond the initial shock; it is an active refusal to feel vulnerable. On an emotional level, the narcissist may wall off painful feelings entirely. Psychologists note that narcissists use such defenses to “protect the mask” of invincibility and avoid any sign of weakness (How Narcissists Keep You from Grieving). Thus, a narcissist might appear oddly unaffected by a loss, behaving as if nothing happened or as if the loss is trivial – this is denial functioning at full force.
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Anger / Blame: Anger is a normal stage of grief, but narcissistic individuals tend to amplify and fixate on anger far more than sadness. In fact, they often substitute anger in place of other feelings. Losing a loved one, failing at a task, or any major setback is quickly reframed in the narcissist’s mind as an outrage rather than a hurt. One expert explains that “instead of feeling the very reasonable sadness and grief that most of us would feel from a major loss, a narcissist… interprets the loss differently,” often deciding “It wasn’t my fault; it wasn’t fair” (When Narcissists Fail, Anger Follows | Psychology Today). By casting blame outward – at other people, fate, or circumstances – they avoid the pain of grief and justify an angry response. This can manifest as narcissistic rage: disproportionate outbursts, bitterness, or vindictiveness triggered by the loss. For instance, if a narcissist’s business fails, they might rage about how clients were “stupid” or partners “sabotaged me,” rather than mourn the failure. Anger feels safer than grief because it buttresses their grandiose self-image (they are right and wronged, not vulnerable or flawed). This reliance on blame also means a narcissist often alienates others during grief – they might accuse family members, doctors, or even the deceased for causing them distress. Their anger is a shield covering hurt that they refuse to openly acknowledge.
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Bargaining (or Lack Thereof): In the classic Kübler-Ross model, bargaining involves negotiating (often with a higher power or with oneself) in an attempt to reverse or mitigate the loss (“If I do X, maybe I’ll wake up and this won’t be true” or “I should have done Y…”). Narcissistic individuals typically do not engage deeply in this stage in the usual sense. Genuine bargaining requires a degree of humility, regret, or personal accountability (e.g., wondering what one could have done differently), and it acknowledges dependence on forces outside oneself. These are feelings narcissists try to avoid. Rather than introspect or show remorse, a narcissist is more likely to double down on control. Their version of “bargaining” might be attempting to immediately fix the problem on their terms or seeking a substitute for the loss. For example, instead of grieving the end of a relationship and contemplating what went wrong, a narcissist might swiftly replace the lost partner with a new one to prove they can’t be abandoned. Indeed, narcissists famously do not take time to heal after a breakup – “they need to find another source of narcissistic supply right away.” (What's the best way to get a narcissist out of your life? - Quora) In a bereavement context, this could translate to inappropriate behavior like quickly striving to one-up the significance of the lost person (to diminish the loss) or making grandiose gestures to show they are “in control” of the situation. Any bargaining thoughts that do occur are likely to be kept private and then smothered by rationalization (“It wouldn’t have mattered anyway”). Essentially, narcissists either skip the bargaining stage or transform it into an attempt to regain control, rather than a genuine negotiation or reflection on how things might have been different.
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Depression (Hidden or Atypical): The depression stage is when the reality of the loss truly sinks in, leading to profound sadness, emptiness, or despair. Narcissistic individuals are generally unwilling to consciously remain in a state of sadness or helplessness, as these feelings clash with their cultivated image of strength. Frequently, they will suppress or hide signs of depression. Observers often note “you will never see a narcissist actually grieving…They’d feel too vulnerable” – thus any deep sadness is likely to be pushed out of sight (or even out of the narcissist’s own awareness) as quickly as possible. Some narcissists indeed run from these feelings or numb them with distractions. However, that does not mean they never feel depression. In fact, beneath the surface, many narcissists carry unresolved pain. Psychologists have described narcissists as being in a constant “post-traumatic condition characterized by a perpetual, prolonged complicated grief coupled with depression” at the core of their personality (Narcissist as Grieving Infant : Sam Vaknin : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive). In moments of major loss, this long-buried pain can be triggered, leading to what’s known as narcissistic collapse – a breakdown of the narcissist’s defenses. During such a collapse, a narcissist might withdraw and silently experience intense sadness and shame (as one psychiatrist notes, some will “silently experience intense sadness and frustration” when their facade falls apart) (Signs of Narcissistic Collapse: From Pain to Rage ). This can look like an atypical depression: the person may isolate themselves, show a drastically deflated demeanor, or even express self-pity that is largely focused on their suffering rather than the loss itself. On the other hand, many narcissists quickly convert any emerging depression back into anger or denial as a way to escape it. They might also engage in self-destructive coping (substance abuse, impulsive behavior) to fend off depressive feelings (Signs of Narcissistic Collapse: From Pain to Rage ) (Signs of Narcissistic Collapse: From Pain to Rage ). The result is that the “depression” stage in a narcissist may be brief, hidden, or manifested as reckless behavior rather than open sorrow. It’s worth noting that because of these avoidance tactics, narcissistic individuals are less likely to display prolonged grief than others. Research on personality and bereavement found that narcissistic personality patterns have little to no association with typical grief symptoms – in fact, narcissism showed a slight negative correlation with complicated (prolonged) grief (Frontiers | Understanding the Relationship Between Complicated Grief Symptoms and Patterns of Personality Disorders in a Substance Users’ Sample: A Network Analysis Approach). In simple terms, narcissists often don’t linger in a depressed grieving state; either they cannot tolerate it, or their attachment to others was not deep enough to elicit sustained mourning.
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Acceptance (Superficial or Self-Serving): In healthy grieving, acceptance means coming to terms with the reality of the loss, adjusting to life without the loved one or lost thing, and finding a way to move forward emotionally. A narcissistic individual may appear to reach acceptance quickly, but it’s often a surface-level resolution rather than true emotional processing. Because they tend to avoid the hard work of the earlier stages, their “acceptance” might simply be a decision to pretend everything is fine or a redirection of focus to themselves. For example, a narcissist might publicly act as though they have moved on or even claim the loss made them stronger, yet this can be a form of dismissal rather than genuine integration of the loss. In cases of interpersonal loss, as noted, narcissists commonly “accept” the situation by immediately filling the void (finding a new partner, pursuing new admiration, etc.) (What's the best way to get a narcissist out of your life? - Quora). This can give the impression of resilience or rapid recovery. However, because they often have not truly processed the grief, any acceptance is fragile. The underlying feelings may resurface as irritability, or the narcissist may continue to carry unconscious grief that influences their behavior (e.g., increased need for validation to compensate for the loss). Additionally, narcissists might frame acceptance in self-centered terms – for instance, portraying themselves as the hero or ultimate survivor of the tragedy. If a loved one died, a narcissist might say, “I’ve accepted they’re gone because I am strong and special,” rather than humbly acknowledging the cycle of life and sincerely moving forward. In sum, narcissists may technically reach the final stage, but often by bypassing authentic mourning. The loss is acknowledged intellectually, but emotionally it may remain unprocessed or is used as a narrative device to bolster their ego (e.g., using the loss to draw sympathy or admiration).
Emotional Coping Mechanisms and Atypical Grief Expressions
Suppressing and Substituting Feelings: Because of the above patterns, narcissistic individuals often cope with grief through suppression, distraction, and substitution rather than reflection. They are adept at pushing painful emotions out of awareness. As one analysis notes, narcissists’ personalities are “scripted to avoid shame” and vulnerable feelings (Do Narcissists Lack Empathy: Research Attempts To Find Out). The moment grief threatens to break through, a narcissist might instinctively activate defenses: they will withhold any display of vulnerability, “appearing cold-hearted” instead of openly sad (Do Narcissists Lack Empathy: Research Attempts To Find Out). This can come across as them having no feelings about the loss, when in reality the feelings are present but compartmentalized. Moreover, narcissists tend to replace emotional pain with narcissistic supply (attention, status, pleasure). For instance, a narcissist who feels the stirrings of grief may quickly engage in thrill-seeking behavior, excessive work, or find people who flatter them, using these as emotional anesthesia. They might also turn to addictive behaviors (drugs, alcohol, gambling) during a grief period more readily than healthy mourners (Signs of Narcissistic Collapse: From Pain to Rage ), because these behaviors blunt unpleasant emotions.
Making Grief About Themselves: Another atypical expression is how narcissists might center themselves in the grief. If the loss involves others (like a family grieving a death), the narcissist may seize the role of either the principal mourner or, conversely, an inconvenienced onlooker. Often, they dramatize their reactions publicly to ensure attention and sympathy flow toward them. For example, at a funeral, a narcissist might give an elaborate speech or display exaggerated emotion, not purely out of sorrow but to be recognized for their “grief” and to upstage others. Conversely, they might show stunning indifference privately, or even irritation if others are receiving comfort. In the earlier example, the narcissistic husband consistently “made things about him” whenever his wife tried to express sadness for her mother’s death (How Narcissists Keep You from Grieving) (How Narcissists Keep You from Grieving). Such behavior illustrates a lack of empathy: the narcissist cannot let the spotlight shift away, even when someone else’s grief should take priority. This dynamic can be very confusing and hurtful to others. Loved ones may feel the narcissist’s reactions are odd or insincere – for instance, the narcissist might say they are the one who “misses the deceased the most” or might complain about how the loss affects their comfort, rather than offering condolences. Essentially, narcissists may hijack the grieving process to serve their own emotional needs.
Absence of Genuine Remorse or Reflection: In many cases, narcissistic individuals show a striking lack of genuine remorse or regret surrounding losses. If the loss is the result of their own actions (say, the end of a relationship or being fired from a job), a healthy individual might feel regret, sadness, and learn from it. A narcissist is more likely to externalize blame and avoid any self-reflection, as mentioned earlier. This means their grief (if the result of their behavior) does not produce the same personal growth or understanding that it might in others. They may never fully “mourn” the thing lost in a contemplative way, because doing so would involve admitting faults or limitations. Mental health experts tie this to an overwhelming need in narcissists to avoid shame at all costs (Do Narcissists Lack Empathy: Research Attempts To Find Out). Feeling guilty or sad about one’s role in a loss would invoke shame, so the narcissist’s mind steers away from it entirely. In practice, this could look like a narcissist quickly forgetting a relationship that ended (as if it never mattered) or immediately rewriting the narrative (“I’m glad it ended; it was all the other person’s fault”). Any grief is thus short-circuited by self-justification.
Narcissistic Collapse and Delayed Grief: On the other hand, if a loss is severe enough that the narcissist cannot maintain their usual defenses, they may undergo a narcissistic collapse. During a collapse, all the emotions and insecurity they normally suppress can come flooding out. They might experience what resembles a major depressive episode, marked by feelings of emptiness, worthlessness, or panic. In grief terms, this is like a delayed and magnified depression stage. The individual might become non-functional for a time or act out in reckless desperation (Signs of Narcissistic Collapse: From Pain to Rage ) (Signs of Narcissistic Collapse: From Pain to Rage ). Not all narcissists experience such collapse, but those with a more vulnerable subtype of narcissism are prone to it when their ego is severely injured by loss (Signs of Narcissistic Collapse: From Pain to Rage ). In these cases, the narcissist is forced to confront grief but often without healthy coping tools. You might see erratic behavior: threats of self-harm, erratic anger, or extreme withdrawal. This is an important reminder that not all narcissists simply “shrug off” grief – some do feel intense pain, but they lack the mechanisms to process it constructively, leading to chaotic expressions of distress.
Interpersonal Dynamics: How Narcissists Handle Others During Grief
Grieving usually has an interpersonal component – we seek comfort from others, share memories of the lost person, or receive community support (as at funerals). Narcissistic individuals navigate these dynamics in distinctive ways:
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Lack of Support for Others: A narcissist generally struggles to provide emotional support to others who are grieving. Because they lack empathy and dislike focusing on others’ needs, they may come off as cold or impatient if a friend or family member is in mourning. They might minimize the other person’s feelings (e.g., “It’s not that bad, you’ll get over it”), or quickly change the topic back to themselves. In worst cases, they become irritated that someone else’s grief is drawing attention. As described, narcissistic partners may actively sabotage a grieving process – for example, starting an argument or creating a distraction when their spouse is upset – effectively derailing the spouse’s ability to mourn (How Narcissists Keep You from Grieving) (How Narcissists Keep You from Grieving). This often leaves the grieving person feeling unheard and alone. Over time, loved ones of narcissists might even stop sharing their hurt with the narcissist, knowing it will not be validated.
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Turning Shared Grief into a Stage: If the narcissist is part of a family or group loss (say, a family member dies), they might position themselves as the main character of the tragedy. They could insist on making decisions that should be group decisions, or demand special recognition for their relationship to the deceased (“I was the closest to them!”). They often seek sympathy from all corners and may even exaggerate their emotional display in public settings. However, this performative grief can ring hollow. A narcissist might shed tears in front of an audience but then behave insensitively when offstage. Others may feel that interactions with the narcissist during this time are one-sided – for instance, the narcissist will talk at length about their own feelings but show little genuine interest in how anyone else is holding up.
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Transactional Comfort: When narcissists do engage with others around a loss, it might be in a transactional manner. They could offer to help or console someone if there’s something to be gained (public praise for being supportive, or leverage to use later). Their sympathy often has strings attached. For example, a narcissistic sibling at a funeral might comfort another relative while others are watching, but later expect that relative to return some favor or allegiance. True mutual support – the give-and-take of comforting each other – is usually absent. The narcissist either takes all the comfort (demands others cater to them) or gives comfort with ulterior motives. This dynamic can strain relationships severely during an already tough time.
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Jealousy and Resentment: It may sound odd, but narcissists can even feel jealous if the deceased was loved by many, because the outpouring of affection and remembrance isn’t directed at the narcissist. For example, if a community honors the passing of someone, the narcissist might resent that this attention isn’t about them, and thus they may downplay the significance of the person’s life or snipe about people “making too big a deal.” These reactions are again tied to their inability to genuinely put themselves in others’ shoes and feel communal sorrow. Instead, everything is measured by how it elevates or threatens their own status.
Why Do Narcissists Grieve Differently?
The deviations in how narcissistic individuals experience grief can be traced back to core features of narcissistic pathology:
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Fear of Vulnerability: To narcissists, grief equals vulnerability. Feeling heartbroken, helpless, or in need of support is anathema to their cultivated image of self-sufficiency and superiority. This is why they reflexively suppress grief or convert it into anger – it’s a way to avoid feeling vulnerable. Their life experience (often dating back to childhood) has taught them that vulnerability leads to shame or pain (Do Narcissists Lack Empathy: Research Attempts To Find Out). Thus, their psyche has one overriding rule: never let your guard down. Grief threatens to break their emotional armor, so they respond by fortifying it (denial, anger, distraction) rather than surrendering to the natural mourning process.
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Defense Mechanisms and Emotional Walls: Narcissists’ extensive use of defense mechanisms means that raw emotions get filtered or blocked. As Sam Vaknin (a narcissism researcher) points out, narcissists’ entire disorder can be seen as a “defensive attempt to wall off emotions that were so profound that they threatened to overwhelm” them (Narcissist as Grieving Infant : Sam Vaknin : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive). In childhood, many narcissists experienced some form of emotional injury or lack (such as not feeling truly loved), which left them in a lingering state of grief. They never learned healthy ways to cope with that pain, instead constructing a false self that is “above” such feelings. When new losses happen, those same defense walls spring up to prevent old wounds from reopening. In effect, a narcissist may never have learned how to grieve normally, because their emotional development was stunted by these walls. What looks like callousness or skipping stages is really their psychological survival strategy – one that sadly deprives them of the healing aspects of grief (such as receiving support or finding meaning).
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I'm gonna fuck you up
Conclusion
Narcissistic individuals do experience grief, but not in the typical linear or cathartic fashion described by the five stages model. Their grieving process is heavily distorted by their need to protect their ego, their lack of empathic depth, and their reliance on defensive behaviors. They may skip stages (for example, showing rage but no evident sadness), prolong others (remaining in denial long past the loss), or express grief in ways that seem alien to others – such as apparent indifference, dramatic blame-shifting, or immediate replacement of what was lost. Interpersonally, their grief dynamics can be frustrating or hurtful to loved ones, since the narcissist may neither give nor receive the kind of compassionate support that normally accompanies bereavement.
It’s important to note that not every narcissistic individual will react identically – factors like whether they are overt vs. covert narcissists, the significance of the loss to their identity, and their level of self-awareness can lead to some variations. For instance, a more vulnerable (covert) narcissist might privately feel quite depressed after a loss, yet still struggle to express it or seek help, whereas a more grandiose narcissist might loudly proclaim anger or hardly acknowledge the loss at all. In all cases, however, the common thread is an avoidance of true vulnerability. Grief is one of the most vulnerable human experiences, so it clashes with the very core of narcissism.
Understanding these differences can foster some compassion for why narcissistic people behave as they do in tragic times (their defenses are essentially on overdrive to protect a wounded self). It also serves as a caution: those around a narcissist should temper expectations of support or “normal” grieving behavior from them. As hard as it is for most people to navigate loss, it can be even more complicated for someone with NPD – often to the detriment of their own long-term emotional health, since unaddressed grief remains unresolved. Unfortunately, many narcissists never fully work through their losses, because doing so would require the very qualities they struggle with – humility, empathy, and vulnerability.
Sources:
- Psychology Today – narcissists reframing loss as external blame, leading to rage instead of sadnesspsychologytoday.compsychologytoday.com.
- PsychCentral/Christine Hammond – examples of narcissistic spouses derailing others’ grief and viewing others’ funerals as threats to their need for attentionpsychcentral.compsychcentral.com.
- Sam Vaknin (psychologist) – view of narcissists in a “perpetual…complicated grief” state from early trauma, using defenses to avoid being overwhelmed by emotionsarchive.orgarchive.org.
- MindJournal (summary of research) – narcissists are extremely sensitive to distress but will withhold empathy and appear uncaring when feeling vulnerablethemindsjournal.comthemindsjournal.com.
- Frontiers in Psychology (2020 study) – narcissistic personality traits showed little to no association with prolonged grief symptoms, implying narcissists don’t experience extended grief in the typical wayfrontiersin.org.
- Psychology Today – narcissists often move on quickly after loss (e.g. not healing after breakups and immediately seeking new “supply”)quora.com.
- Psychology Today – narcissists’ lack of genuine care for others (viewing even children as extensions of themselves) undermines their capacity for empathic griefpsychologytoday.com.
It was abuse for nyte to take money from this guy
Thanks Pooh, you a real one
Huh? Which event horizon is talking and what about even
I didn't sign this game so was just having fun. Well played to the mafia.
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Sorry that I misplayed and caused you to suspect me and vote me out.