Why ignore my offers for ending it, or counter offer? Only to ask for me not reply while doing quite a bit of misrepresenting of your own? Your debate style is just to call me stupid, soyboy or repeat cope. In a few sentences you suggest I'm ignoring my partner, who is asleep behind me after a lovely date night. I know she appreciates being held before sleep, so before even turning my computer on I spent time doing so and gave her a lil back rub. The dopamine hits which are indescribably small, come from deja vu of frustrating arguments like this one right now. It feels there's an inability to be wrong so it's groundhog day-esque, and it doesn't go anywhere just loops. We are arguing still about the definition of a word, it's semantics literally. If it is doxxing, I should be banned no questions asked, but its not its still shitty but its an important distinction. I feel you don't really understand what it's like to be on other end of your own words, to consider someone important and that person to spend a year telling you how shit you are. (gaslighter, manipulator, asshole, so on) How that could maybe still eat away at them as they don't trust their own reality or memory, feel they are a monster who doesn't deserve love.
Whatever, I felt I've been misrepresented essentially the whole time, you didn't seem to bat an eye. Yet now because it lacks nuanced full context, which would be quite lengthy, you are being misrepresented by your own words/actions? Slandered perhaps? He's just a butt mad ex, harassing little ol me.
All these keystrokes all these posts a waste of time, because in the pointless he said she said bullshit that fred durst once spoke about my actual feelings are completely lost. It's important to understand the difference between anger and frustration. I do not feel anger or hatred towards you, I was often easily frustrated by you. Whether it be by saying one thing but wishing I do the opposite, completely dodging actual conversations that would've been quite needed at the time, or maxing out my patience while abusing my attempts to be accommodating and understanding.
To get back on track, you are someone who is enough, when you have the capacity to you are easily the hardest working/determined poster on here. (Hell it inspired me to work harder, call it stubbornness or perseverance you just keep going) You have a lot of love to give someone, you deserve to receive love in turn and feel secure. It crushes me a bit to see you appear to be still self hating, struggling, jaded, defensive, and essentially having disregarded anything I tried my best to get across in our shared time. I feel your fears still get the best of you, and manage to become more like prophecies. Idk, I've seen the real you and I think that person is worth the effort, misguided as it may be to get across that you are someone worthy of love and respect.
Figured if it was gonna be my last gotta get any stray words out of my head, make it count etc.