ChatGPT nonsense. Tldr
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Low IQ cynicism and self hatred leads to these kind of responses. You're the only one here who wouldn't be able to tell AI produced text from real writing.
Malding
UR GAY
I have another confession to make. This one is significantly harder to get off my chest but Iāll make my best attempt ā write with my eyes closed ā let god and autocorrect handle the rest and let my hands define my future ā stand me now and ever in good stead.
In an attempt to forge my own personality and identity early on in my twenties, I attempted to join a Salsa dancing class in my city, entertaining a particularly youthful delusion in that how could I say that dancing was not my calling in life if I had never made an honest attempt?
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I arrived and found to my dismay that I was at an immediate racial disadvantage given that all other members of the class seemed to be Hispanic who, not to employ positive racial stereotypes (but I was quite misguided and vulnerable to such stereotypes at the time), are usually better at dancing. My suspicions were confirmed. A couple of minutes into the class and I was stumbling over my steps to an egregious degree in comparison to my peers and after swallowing my pride multiple times in the space of those couple of minutes, I excused myself to go to the bathroom and simply walked out of the building as soon as I had left the room and was out of sight from the rest of them.
That loss was a spiritual loss. I had set my best feet forward literally and had faltered, and the lingering teenage hormones running rampant in my endocrine system turned on me as I was walking back home ā forcing me to reflect that failure as a failure towards my entire character.
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I was second-guessing quite a lot of aspects of my life up to that point and, growing slowly inebriated by a rage that had likely been building for years in advance, my train of thought was stopped by the callous demands of a vagrant sitting down beside a postbox with a coffee cup at his feet for change. He couldnāt have possibly known the anger that was emerging within me, but something about his tone rubbed me the wrong way -- we were both at fault. With all of my repressed rage, possibly my first demonstration of anger ever in my life, I swiftly and with quite significant upper-leg strength now that I review in hindsight, kicked the cup a metre down the pavement, spilling the coins everywhere.
The vagrant immediately began cursing loudly and quickly rose to his feet and, conscious of a group of onlookers who had just emerged from the tube and had stopped on the other side of the road to observe what had happened, I made the flagrant decision to try and play off what I had done as a moral lesson and, taking out a bottle of water from my backpack, I picked up the coffee cup and poured the water out into it, making very pronounced physical gestures so that the bystanders would see what I was doing and I forget exactly what I said to the vagrant but I believe it was something along the lines of: āWater always takes precedence over consumerism.ā. I definitely used the term consumerism anyway and was pointing out how the essential human needs are more important than vain pursuits.
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I then picked all the coins off the ground and laid them at the vagrants feet in a small pile, leaving the water in the cup as a conciliation but I felt that the onlookers were still staring over and even seemed to be making some sort of advance to a set of traffic lights so that they could cross over, so I quickly left and took a bus home.
Thatās another confession, not an aphorism. But what I might have said to the homeless man: āWater always takes precedence over consumerismā is possibly the wisest aphorism of my entire diary here as it was generated as a response to a real event ā which is where the sharpest of wisdom is generally derived. I guess what I was trying to say was that we canāt place value in human currency without first looking at what is purchased by that currency.
In the way of aphorisms I only have two that come to mind.
When someone is using you for personal gain or attempting to exploit your trust, typically the best move is to dumb yourself down. The less trust I have for someone, the stupider I will act.
Making yourself stupid does not mean removing any proof of a private life, as that is quite transparent especially if it marks a drastic adjustment to your demeanor. You will simply have to trivialize your own private life. All conversations should float around topical culture, politics and other inane bullshit.
However If there is anything to take away from reading this, then take that away into your own personal lives. I keep it so cordial around the snakes sometimes that youād swear Iām a mouth-breather.
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Another interesting move to employ around manipulators and suspected sycophants is, in confidence, to espouse one or two ideas that are completely maniacal or insane and then test their reaction. Any actual friend with integrity or legitimate concern for you will immediately call you out about the bullshit that you have presented and probably question your judgement as well ā but the sycophant will agree with you and may even say they have the same opinion. These people are spineless, they will adopt the personality of whatever best suits them for a given moment and then switch up in the presence of another.
Making a habit of such tactics is going to weigh heavy on your heart however -- your own sense of identity may slip -- but honesty should be saved for a trusted group of people. Trying to reason with manipulators is slave morality -- but it is better if you can throw them off the scent while still maintaining personal integrity.
Some people are manipulative for reasons that may be, on an evolutionary level, beneficial. Some good people are manipulative; take any leader for example, say a sports coach -- who would have to understand on a deep level the hearts and minds of each member of the team to lead them through adversity. This is often known as charisma or leadership; it technically constitutes as manipulation by moral definition but typically for a greater cause .
Some more morally deficient people manipulate in the pursuit of capital or other vain forms of power (I am not trivialising these pursuits by calling them vain, most of the world operates through vanity and anyone reading this will have to play the game to at least some extent if they donāt want to get chewed out in a corporate environment).
The lowest form of manipulation however is one who manipulates in favour of their ego. This is the narcissist; someone who exerts their limited energy toward no benefit or skill but to jerk off their sense of identity in a small and meaningless assortment of social circles.
(On the topic, there is something particularly endearing about people who very thinly encompass their own social facade. I know some ācharmersā in real life whose wit and exterior are so easily rattled and fall through to interior emotion that it humanises them in a way that their charming exterior never quite could.)
I'm done for today, think I'll talk about masculinity tomorrow.
Before getting to my biggest confession to date. The climax.
Neoliberalism (realistically the points that I am about to make are a byproduct of human nature and not neoliberalism or capitalism, but neoliberalism is a really cool word that Iām going to start using all the time now) deems competition as the one base truth behind reality. So, as everything in contemporary culture is competitive, so too is personality.
A high-score is assigned to how one measures up against imaginary values. Whilst one group may favor ethical victories, another will favor victories that are grounded in vanity. However, the media operates as the referee for reality and the media for my generation, and the prior generation has been pushing a very distinct set of values to measure up against -- in an attempt to usurp religion.