Benny: Confessions. My Diary.

Modern men are in competition over values that are deemed 'masculine' -- although the definition of masculine values has been slowly adjusted over the years.
Question: if masculine principles are defined primarily by the restrictive ability of the bearer of said principles with regards to their emotions, do we reward men for not feeling an emotion or for simply repressing that emotion?

More simply, if a man marks their self-esteem against preset metrics which deem stoicism and coldness the way of superiority, and the man is successfully able to withdraw their emotions and express nothing but this cold static demeanor, do they then derive satisfaction based on not feeling something or do they derive satisfaction simply by pretending not to feel something?

As a man, you may feel like you have ‘won’ or reigned superiority by operating under this repressed facade which represents the modern ideal, but what have you really won if your emotion is still there circulating dormant in the psyche? If there’s a cold dead look somewhere in your eyes, then you have still experienced the emotion. The anger. The confusion. The weakness and the insecurity. It runs through your blood.
Gamification gives your neural-reward-system a dopamine hit for repressing the emotion, but is this reward-system based on any actual benefit to the modern world? Or just the idle delusions of the insecure. Let all those little angers cook between your eyes.

I have, even at my most pathetic, been able to see through the cold dead look. I can read the anger and the fear, the envy and the obsession. If it is still readable, either through your remedial behaviour or through threading these feelings of frustration through all of your relationships, then have you accomplished your masculine ideal? You’re aware of your weakness. Of your failures. You’re like a child who’s told to clean out their bedroom and tucks everything away in their closet. It’s the illusion of something, a mask – but the laws of physics determine that energy can not be destroyed and emotional energy is the driving force behind all of human achievement and existence as we know it. Good luck disposing of that through your lifestyle.

Modern masculinity operates under the same sense of hierarchical-masturbation as modern spirituality or modern intellectuality do. A ‘masculine’ man is the same as the unaccomplished hippie preaching about spiritual enlightenment or a private-school capitalist preaching about how ‘money equals power’ but then not being able to cite any reference to this power besides listing off designer brands and private-jet delusions.
Both preaching all the same with this little glint in their eye that suggests they possess something you do not.

All of humanity needs a sense of superiority and the digital era has offered every niche for freak and nerds their own way of inflated self-esteem.

A lot of modern masculinity AKA ‘Alpha-Male’ ideologies stems from a series of sales pipelines designed by salesmen selling ideological snake-oil. Originating at some point in the late 2000’s, salesmen and grifters alike noticed a large congregation of the lonely, the lost and the sexually frustrated (I’m not personally into the psychology of sales, but I’d imagine that this is the most potent market since the dawn of man) through thorough analysis of search engine statistics and trends. A reality was then created which repurposed old masculine propaganda and gave these people a dream: a series of philosophies and hobbies which would deem them ‘The Alpha’ or ‘The Top Dog’. Washed away was the hierarchy that society had once inserted them into. Here was a set of new ideas that they could internalize -- kool-aid for the ego.
One look at the algorithm and this has only increased in recent years.

Of course, due to the fleeting nature of internet content and attention-spans, 80% of the people that consumed these sales pitches did not succeed the full way down the sales pipeline, which ended somewhere in online courses, seminars or e-books. They merely adopted the distortions of the sales pitch and brought them through into their own lives, adopting all of the “good” traits of masculinity (aggression, anger, needlessly competitive) but somehow skipping over the traits that actually require some restraint of character (integrity, loyalty, humility). Essentially this is fast-food philosophy. It allows the consumer their spiritual enlightenment and the ability to throw tantrums and masterbate their ego, but without having to incorporate discipline or restraint.
Like actual fast-food, their lives will soon reflect the intensity of these shitty philosophies of which they so easily internalise.

I am not immune to insecurity. I do not blame the people around me for falling for these weird, antisocial philosophies. I probably would have myself, were it not for the fact that my own role-models in my most formative years embodied not a single one of these ideals.

But remember. Narcissism and culturally induced sociopathy may seem appealing in a world that grows increasingly competitive and in a world that will more frequently burn the weak, but to entertain the idea of narcissism, you must also entertain the definition of narcissism which is complete existential isolation – as you can form no meaningful relationships while harbouring such beliefs. You may form the illusion of a meaningful relationship and the illusion of a good-life to keep up appearances, but your eyes will always betray you.

Every single person I’ve met in real life that uses terms such as ‘Alpha’ and ‘Beta’ are generally the most pathetic and culturally useless people I’ve ever been exposed to. Without exception. It’s maniacal out here – what the algorithm has done to my generation.

Not only that, but from personal experience, the people that adopt these ‘Alpha-male’ value-systems are, without fail, always the ones furthest from achieving the ‘Alpha-male’ ideal. Where are all the women, player? Her? Where’s the sex, and where’s the money? Where’s the power? Where’s the six-pack? Where’s the respect or the accomplishment? Where is the skill?
These people talk down on others as betas and talk down on others as losers and talk down on others as pussies and cuckolds because speech is the only domain in which they are capable of looking down upon anyone. Physical reality will always supersede a vocal reality however. Get all that off your chest if you want -- but eventually you will have to play ball.

By adopting and engaging in these worldviews in the first-place, you are outing yourself as a spectator rather than a player who instead of relying on things like actual accomplishment or achievement for self-esteem (which is what humans were designed to do), you would rather indulge the snake-oil that gives you temporary release from your feelings of despondence and failure. Maybe they appeal to your reformed-nerd-girlfriends who are as dependent on these value-systems as you are but they will never appeal to any sizable audience. Your delusions will always dilute upon reaching a greater audience. So you keep them confined to a strict inner circle. Because you wouldn’t be talking half of that shit around the people you try to impersonate.


This guy has typed more into namafia with this thread then all my years combined

i haven't read a single post by benny in this thread but i already know its just AI generated nonsense

I don't think it's AI generated, I think it's real posts with his real thoughts and the ones I saw were worth reading, it's just a longer form of post than we are accustomed to so it's hard for me to stay on top of the thread, requires a real time commitment. But I appreciate people trying different things on the site. We can't all post #plasma one liners

Every midwit these days is going to be throwing around accusations of "AI! AI!" towards anything they're too scared of genuinely confronting - it's no different than saying "The jews are behind this".

Sometimes I pee in the shower. It makes me feel like an Alpha Male.

Why am I typing in such a pedantic and pretentious manner? Am I intentionally trying to get a rise out of the reader? Why am I intentionally trying to make this thread as long-winded as humanly possible and reach my arbitrary goal of ten thousand words? should i tone it down to a level you understand hahahaha? You’re trying to decipher the intention behind writing a confession here. And to decipher the intention, you must work out the mental engine running behind the post.

Just kidding.

TLDR: Pee. Shower.


i too pee in the shower