oh shit seeing all this DotA drama coming out... is it finally time for me to write about Peter being a fucking bitch? XD
Ok where to start, one example of Peter is when I was modding for some stream him/Grant were doing at the EG house. Some random messaged me just to say "You're just a fuck hole for PPD" & I responded back "it's funny because I ban you, & no one knows you even existed.."
I remember being so fucking shook.. it was such a disgusting mean thing to message me. After the stream I told Peter, word for word. His response? "How could you say that to someone?!" my boyfriend was mad at ME for what I said & not bothered at all by what the random said...
That's when I knew we had to break up. It was a long time coming of being with someone who was blatantly misogynistic, obsessed with money, a total attention freak & more! It was awful! :) I was stupid and thought the salt was an act & he was "misunderstood" whoops lol
How about Peter hooking his no experience best guy friend bartender Kodiak up with a manager job for COD so he could get "paid a shit ton just booking flights" all while he paid me nothing & acted like me being a graphic designer "wasnt a real job" LOL! :)
and when he finally did pay me after months, guess what! He kept money out of my pay for himself! Why you may ask? Because he fucking kept a note on his phone of all the times he as my /boyfriend/ paid for shit for me. Designer bags, shoes? you may ask? No! fucking normal dates!
I went to Manilla with him for a tournament, he charged me for the flight! :D He knew I had no job except for him, he knew I was completely broke! I asked one time if he would buy me a $2 taco, guess what he said? "I'm not a fucking charity" not even a joke. My dad hates his soul
To tell the truth, I would love to have gone back and forgotten all of it. Sure it was cool to hang out with DotA people, & to play games all day, but holy shit what a waste of time. Plus the betrayal of someone I cared deeply for, & the horrific experiences, it wasn't worth.
I moved to Japan in 2016 with the intent to kill myself. I had no money, my relationship with Peter sucked, he was so cruel at the end, I realized even after all the promise of the DotA community he had given me hope in, I wasn't going to ever make anything of it. I was depressed
I felt like I had no one close to me, wanting to be a graphic designer was constantly belittled, I even got a huge Reddit post about my art sucking and how I should kill myself. I literally was sick mentally &thought nothing I ever tried to do would work out. I wanted to
be the one that closed my own story. I gave away all my stuff, had Peter buy me a ticket to Japan, and spent months thinking I was going insane, planning my death, getting abused in Japan. It was all the worst. I didn't kill myself because I still wanted to experience real love..
Get this, when I came back to America, I felt like a total fucking failure, I couldn't even kill myself correctly. There was a twitch guy who was "a friend" who actually turned out to be the worst most disgusting person ever. Let's talk about Kixelated! :)
Kixelated was one of the guys I met at Twitch while dating Peter. He knew I was depressed but didn't know the whole story about suicide. I kept it totally secret. He offered to let me stay in SF for a few days before going back to my mom's house to get Banner
While I'm at his house, he tells me he wants to pay me to be his girlfriend! [Upside-down face] He knows I'm depressed, he knows I don't find life to be fulfilling but he definitely wants to still use my body for sex ;) I politely decline since I'm at his fucking house...
He tells me he's been drinking only Soylent for weeks so he would lose weight to impress me! He had never ever stated any interest in me until I was at his place. It was so fucking scary. Anyway after that he keeps pressuring me, & please understand this felt like "just my luck"
So I go to my moms and get Banner, then go to my dad's in Oregon to stay for a bit since I literally gave all my shit away & don't have a place to go or money. I still talked to Kixelated because he was one of the only people I knew. He told me this story about
oh woe is him, I should be his girlfriend because no one had wanted to have sex with him. He didn't give a fuck about me, it was all about him and using money as leverage for me. I had to keep him around. What if I became homeless? I didn't have family or a support system
He invited me to TI which was a month or so after I got back, and I went. I wanted to have a good time, & maybe see people I knew. He used this opportunity to ask me to talk to him privately, I said sure we went for a walk
During the walk he stops to tell me that "I need to tell you something.. I know you think you're special.. but you're not." he told me this like he was so sympathetic to be clueing me into a 'fact' and he said "the only way you'll ever find success is by marrying a rich guy"
Like, what the fuck? I know it was this very poorly planned attempt to make me feel so low about myself that I would sleep with him, but I had NO IDEA people actually SAID shit like that to other people. it blew my mind. Kixelated is a nightmare & I hope he hasn't hurt anyone..
He came to my twitch chat and I told him if he ever talked to me again I'd get him fired from Twitch. He said he understood and hadn't talked to me since. What a wild ride!
I tried being friends again after I got back from Japan with Peter, but one day @nweatherservice posted a video of guys being super sexually degrading on overwatch & he posted under it some incel shit about how it's not that bad & I just blocked him & haven't spoken to him since
Anyway I'm not a perfect person either, but atleast I've never used power & money to manipulate people for my own selfish sexual benefit! :) Fuck men that try to & thank god for all the awesome supportive normal dudes. Also for anyone talking about the shit they went thru w/DotA
Man, what a fucked up community, right? I mean the level of nastiness from one person can scar you even if you have hundreds of games with nice normal people after. If anyone wants to talk, I have thick skin for the most part & I don't take shit. We can talk! ^^ I'm an open book
I have so many more stories, but i think I did a pretty good job summarizing the type of people involved. Why talk about it you may ask? Why not. Hopefully spares someone in this world from going through what I went through. I know people have been through worse, & it's not okay