Nah f those MK Ultra trained by college mother fuckers who wanna be talking to me and shit.
Imma do me, Im doing very well for a 25 year old man who is probably well beyond 51/50
are you doing well mentally? you sound really unhappy at least judging by the way you post
Its hard to explain, my life is a roller coaster. Like I'm happy as fuck sometimes, i see beautiful imagery, i feel amazing sensations. I enjoy the simple things so much when im like that. I am always happy when im working and putting in labor of some sort. The more I do the better i feel.
At my lowest I break, i am tormented and I suffer endlessly. Its a miniature moment that my brain paints as an eternity of suffering. I think i cannot go on, I fantasize it all. I want to give up. I face the reality that I broke long ago. That this is not correctable and this feeling will return in time.
But at the bottom there is something that burns. I get filled with so much rage and anger and sadness. When i cant cope I hurt myself.
. And Suddenly it happens, It all flips. The emotional intensity turns to relief as I am comforted by the pain. It stings like a beautiful reminder that I am on the brink teetering between divinity and mortality. And I realize life has truly punished me in a way I cannot call anything short of perfect.
I am broken in every sense of the word, but I get shit done.
okay well those times on the bottom sound really tough and I think having somebody in your life who can help you nsvigate them in a more healthy way would do you some good
it wouldnât be about changing your brain, or changing who you are. just helping you better manage it.
They just wanna 51/50 men like me. see us locked up and on drugs.
Im good with that, I am a productive member of society and I do my best all day.
They dont realize there are just humans like me and I aint tryna hear that from a doctor that i need help or that something wrong with me, imma let other people tell me.
you donât need to see a doctor you can see somebody who would only talk to you. theyâre called counsellors, and my experience is they are way more helpful than psychiatrists.
also, you can see a male one. it doesnât have to be a woman
YOU are in control, not them. you only listen to their advice if you agree with it. you pick them, you hire them, they work for you.
They dont even understand how ancient and traditional self harming is.
Everyone do it, some people cut, some people drink till they are drunk, some people engage in risky behavior, some even do crime willingly for the consenquences. Its very human.
But they try and tell me that me rending my flesh is the worst thing i can do. im the demonic fucked up one.
Ifeel like im damaged on every plane of existence, and a lot of my thoughts and experiences are a result of that damage.
donât tell them that part then, tell them about your low periods, how it makes you feel, and see if anything they advise resonates with you
i feel quite strongly that finding the right counsellor would do you an enormous amount of good
Bipolar
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he probably knows that
it aint bipolar its human. they think its normal to live a life with dulled and no emotion.
No it's bipolar bro get on some meds your brain is broken
what youâre describing is how bi polar people think, act, and feel
you most likely are bi polar
i would recommend seeing a doctor to discuss bipolar medication if youâre not on any
right away they tryna medicate me.
Yes you are sick
you need it dude