Matticus Mafia Day 3

Mafia
241

...early 30s

ugh fine. this entire post is a mistake.

best/worst was the married chick who pulled a pregnancy scare first time we hooked up. texts me a while later. the exchange went like this:

"my period is late, am i pregnant?"

"did you mean to type that into google?"

"i'm serious we didn't use a condom"

(reflexive lie) "nah i was too drunk didn't even cum"

doesn't buy it

"what are you getting on my case for you share a bed with your dude every night"

"gross. i haven't fucked my husband in 18 months"

later she tells me she wished we met sooner so i could have been her baby daddy.

takes acid one day and tells her dude everything. lets me know

"wtf why"

.......nothing ends up happening

i subjected myself to this for six months

the rest are mostly just mundane drama.

there was the one 33 y/o who starts telling me about her abortion on a first date. later at her place while we're making out on the floor she starts crying hysterically and says "i'm so sorry. i just can't do this. i'm sorry i'm such a pain in the ass." runs down the hall and locks herself in her room. i knock on her door.

"you foolish woman. would you like me to leave?"

(muffled sobbing) "yes i'm really sorry"

"uh ok don't forget to lock the door once i'm gone"

get back to my car. sit there for a second. laugh for five minutes straight

1 Like
242

You’re right that was a mistake.

The common demon here is not the women’s ages

243

nah

244

because if you're old then I'm getting old and I would rather live in denial

245

Guys I’m voting gwez

There’s really no other option

“The worst was this married woman...”
“Ugh”

1 Like
246

you specifically asked. blame your morbid curiosity.

247

like what did you expect

248

Does anyone think kkat is town?

249

fuck no

250

I thought there would be a good story

Something entertaining and not clearly depicting you as a bloody moron outside of some embarrassing mistake or something.

251

i find it entertaining

252

Like omg this chick texts me “am I pregnant” after we (first) hooked up. first of all: this is insane of a chick in her 30s to ask.
Second of all you go on to say that you “subjected” yourself to “that” for 6 months

Yikes

253

Sigh

Forget it my decisions are just as dumb. I was just hoping for entertainment and this wasn’t entertaining

254

yes it is. that's kind of the point

didn't say i was the poster boy for prudence and self preservation

ok your turn

255

To answer, no I do not think kkat is town. Id like more discussion to be happening between kkat and friend tho

256

No too depressing today

257

Let’s just beat the game and what not

258

Too late

259

Pardon?

260

Alright @ian @murs @KrazyKat we need you to give your reads